“Hey, you. What do you think? There was a time when we would go to sleep with just a thin piece of clothing, but being able to wear all these layers of beautiful clothes, it’s like I am full of richness. This is all because of the teachings of the god that you recommended. This is all because of your virtue. What do you think?”
“The reason why you are so full of richness is because of you keep letting out the farts that you are so full of.”
“Meh. Hurry up and weigh this rice. I want to get paid.”
Your arms are so sluggish from hulling so much rice.”
“Even my hands are sluggish. There’s so much rice, enough for days.”
“This bundle, this was brought from the lord. It is a gift.”
“Is the incense burner here? The Lieutenant General is calling. Serve him splendidly. There will be a splendid reward.”
“How did this incense burner next to me become such a wealthy person using such uncommon art? Even when you think about it, doing the work of a boring priest and being abused by people, being told something, this does not do anyone good. Please write a letter to the incense burner saying that you want to become a disciple, and learn his trick. I am so jealous.”
“Oh come on, I think the same. Even if he takes on a disciple, do you think he will teach his tricks with peace of mind? He should try accepting a letter from someone who wants to become his disciple, and try to teach his tricks.”
“For a long time, I had thought about how I can bring that up, but I never had a chance to. Here I am, please teach me the trick that I yearn for. From start to end, that is how I have dedicated my letter. Please teach me by all possible means. This kind of trick will generally become extinct if there is only one person to convey it, so convey it to a descendant. That is what I will say.”
“Let’s try it then. Learn this well. Even if you do not write a letter saying you want to become a disciple, there are times when you won’t be taught what you want to learn.”
“I am Fukutomi, a priest at Shichijo. That trick of Hidetake’s, it is something that you, my Sir, like very much. You, my Sir, like something Fukutomi has taught him in part. Much less, it is the very origin of Fukutomi. Taking means to continue farting, that is what is you, my Sir, like so much.” Saying that, he hurriedly disappeared inside by a spell, and while waiting for food, turned towards the direction of the northwest, and as taught by Hidetaka, said “gogo, teibo, bichibichi” three times, and started praying.
“Wait a while. Let’s tell this to the Lieutenant General.”
“That’s horrible. Just chase him out of here.”
“The nun cannot see such a thing.”
“Oh my, you are fearless. Isn’t this Fukutomi of Shichijo?”
“Chase this man out just like this? His looks, shape, everything is detestable. Stomp on him so hard that his backside dies. How dirty. Hit him hard so he learns a lesson.”
“People who have gotten old, they’re such a pity. At any rate, just chase him out of here. Now.”
“What are you saying? Such a thief should be punished.”
Well, I didn’t think you would intrude on the Lieutenant General and do such a thing. You are so shameless. Hit him hard so he learns a lesson.”
“What on earth are you saying? Hit him hard so he learns a lesson.”
“Help. Wait. Just watch. Just watch what I learned.”
“That’s something to look at. That old man is going to poop, and he’ll get hit.”
“Well, I was persuaded by my wife’s envy and deceived by Hidetakemaru. How am I supposed to get home?”
“Oh look. Fukutomi of □□, look at him pass by looking like he’s been hit badly.
“Wait...isn’t that Fukutomi of Shichijo? I wonder what he did to end up looking like that.”
“The old man, he looks like he is wearing clothes of various colors on his head. Let’s burn all old clothes. Oh, I am so happy.”
“Hurry, hurry, burn them. Let’s burn all these dirty clothes. He has such colorful clothes. I wonder what kinds of things they will become.”
“It’s still early, and you’re burning them already? Make sure to look at them closely before you burn them.”
“What are you doing? Did you burn and throw them away, while it is still early? Why don’t you wait to burn and throw them away after the priest returns?”
“Hidetaka received some exquisite clothes. I see you also received some brocade, so let’s burn all the old clothes. Who would want to go through such a bad experience?”
“I’m shivering, but how am I supposed to wear that? Only women who are trying to entice various men.”
“What are you talking about? I am in disbelief. Your are 62 years old, and you are a priest, but you are like a 3-year-old. You know that if you swallow even a single seed of a morning glory, you will get diarrhea. If you swallow 10 seeds, you will get into deep trouble. Muttering. I can’t believe you even made it this far. You are just something that anyone can pick up off the streets. First, you need to fix your diarrhea. Take some medicine and get some rest.”
This is quite a spectacle. My heart is so deplorable.
What is he looking at. Come on, let’s go take a look.
Is it good to step on his hand? How bad is it broken? Wow.
I am going to die. It’s my boring wife’s envy’s fault. In my last stage of aging, such sadness from such a painful experience.
Take a sip of this first.
I am the wife of the priest at Shichijo. As I was deceived by farting Hidetake, I swallowed the seed of a morning glory, I was bedridden with diarrhea. Show me some mercy and please give me some medicine. This is all the fault of a man named Hidetaka. He deceived my old man, and ended up persuading him to swallow ten morning glory seeds…”
Even a single morning glory seed will make your bowels loose. Swallowing ten of them, is there anything good that comes out of it? Nothing bad will happen if you take this medicine. You better take this.
Yes, exactly as you say. When I think that this is something that my wife did, it is troublesome to even face each other.
This is great medicine. Take a sip. Swallow it.
This Takamuko no Hidetake, what he did to deceive poor Fukutomi, who begged him at the risk of his own life, who made him swallow the seeds of morning glory, committed a terrible crime. Gods of his future, make him go insane. Strike him down on a large road, and make him suffer. Respectfully, I pray to you.
What the wife of the priest has done is so justifiable.
She is such a brave woman. The incense burner does not know what to do with her.
Just make him fall, make him fall over.
Well, I don’t know if you have to go that far. It will be unsightly. People will look. Just let him be.
Take this off. Understandable, yes. You, you, help.
People will look if they want to. They will think of dying.
Oh, look. Headwear for court nobles, it’s starting to fall down. Aah, that’ so funny.
The incense burner and the wife of the priest, they’ll hear if you laugh.
What are you laughing at?
What are you looking at?
Incense burner Takamuko no Hidetake
Wife of Takamuko no Hidetake
Messenger of nobleman
Messenger of Lieutenant General
Futone ga me (Wife of Fukutomi no Oribe)
Priest of Shichijo Fukutomi no Oribe
Fukutomi no Oribe
Takamuko no Hidetake
Fukutomi no Oribe
Vassal of Lieutenant General
Nun
Lieutenant General
Fukutomi no Oribe
Fukutomi no Oribe
Futone ga me
Futone ga me
Futone ga me
Fukutomi no Oribe
Person who deciphers dreams
Futone ga me
Fukutomi no Oribe
Maid-in-waiting
Futone ga me
Fukutomi no Oribe
Futone ga me
Futone ga me
Futone ga me
Takamuko no Hidetake